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Take the time to recognize and accept that an eating disorder is serious and life-threatening. It is not just going to go away.
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For the present, and for a long while to come, life must be structured around the recovery, and not the other way around.
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It’s not your fault. It’s not your child’s fault. What counts is how you react, not how you got there.
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Treat the disease as an alien parasite that can be overcome but is not to be bargained with.
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Food is medicine. The prescription is full nutrition, consumed and digested, every meal of every day.
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It’s not negotiable. Similar to insulin levels for a diabetic and chemotherapy dosages for a cancer patient, the amount a healthy body needs to eat is not negotiable. Do not bargain, do not give in.
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Don’t wait. Every meal, every day, all your life, starting right now.
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Declare an anger-free, guilt-free, shame-free zone in your lives. Live there.
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Do not give shelter to starvation, malnutrition, purging, self-harm, depressed thinking, or meanness. Make your home a safe place to be healthy.
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Weigh lightly. Weight is an imperfect and tricky measure of health but up or down trends have meaning. Do it rarely, and randomly, and avoid making a fuss.
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Set boundaries and maintain them. Do not allow the disease to rewrite history, rule the present, or set terms for the future.
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It is not forcing them to eat, it is letting them eat and live.
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Consider the family as a whole in making care decisions.
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Listen, but you don’t have to agree.
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There is nothing to argue about. Period.
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Be specific about your needs. “A casserole a week.” “Babysitting while we go to the therapist.” “Listen to me cry.”
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Surround yourself with people who support your family and your decisions. Listen to them.
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Believe in your family, flaws and all. Trust your bravest instincts if the advice you hear does not fit.
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Love your child all you can, with every parental muscle you have. Feel free to hate the disease, however.
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Eat together. Allow your meals to be a celebration, a priority, and not an extra chore. Enjoy shopping, cooking, eating, and cleaning up together. Lose the things that get in the way.
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Don't be afraid to eat with your anorexic….bulimic….disordered eater!
